Wednesday, September 3, 2014

This love has taken its toll on me....

Do you remember that song? 
I love it from the first time I heard it... 
So I decided to name my today's post with it... as much as it is related to my post.


Today I’m not going to tell a story or describe you a history just from third person. Today I’ll copy you a letter… just a love letter. I don’t know whose words are these or whose history… I’ll just write it… from 1st person…even though it is not related to me…:))))) 

Love letter which will be given to a pigeon for bringing it to the right address…

Hi love… how are you? I know you remember me… at least as me… do you remember today? Just 3 innocent years ago we got engaged… how it started? Do you remember, love? Everything began with just one random request to my fb profile… It was cold winter evening when I checked my profile and saw new friend request. And till today I cannot understand how I accepted you, as a person who avoids seeing unknown people in her list… may be it was just fortune… and you wrote me… I was angry and I talked to you very badly… you just smiled to my disgusting answers. I turned up my nose and I don’t know why… may be you were handsome… and I didn’t want to show you that I liked your photos from first sight… I tried to hide my thoughts… Months passed… we were talking every week. And each time you asked me why I’m so rude… you were living in another county which was so far from my place… I was jealous… jealous to the person who I haven’t ever seen… after 3 months you came and wanted to see me… I rejected… in my heart I prayed thousand times “ask one more time”. You asked not one time but may be hundred times… But I again ejected. And I don’t know why… I was afraid of falling love. You went back… months again passed.  You again came… but I didn’t reject again… I went to see you… I remember that little café. You ordered a blueberry cheesecake and said you don’t like desserts. I ordered chocolate cake. But do you know I even don’t remember the taste. I remember you. Detailed… I remember your checked greenish shirt, I remember your blue jacket and your rubbed jeans… I remember your eyes which I don’t want to discuss. Im still jealous to you.  They are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. You were tall which I didn’t expect. I don’t remember what I talked but I know it was stupid stuff. But you liked me… you loved me… as you said after few months…  we became couple… I don’t know how…we started to date during your 1 week vacation. And you went back to your damn Paris… i hated that city and I still hate… it hides my love… it took from me my biggest love… 6 months  passed and you just said you want to know my family… I was the happiest girl in the whole world…we got engaged after 3 months… I remember my beautiful Tiffany and Co ring … we  were happy… so happy… we were dreamed about our future life… we even named our future children… we traveled around the world together in our thoughts… we had little but cozy house… in our dreams… and  just 1 year after it you helped me and came to your city for a year… the first 3 months were our heaven. We did everything together , do you remember? We went to concerts, dance halls, clubs, bars together. We drank together and were drunk together… we danced till the morning  together… we kissed each other during hours… and sometimes we just slept by hugging each other in the bench somewhere in Paris… we were in love… we lived love… we were thirsty to love and finally we found it… your friends started to hate me because I stole you from them… you went everywhere just with me… do you remember we won the nomination of the cutest couple in the club? Yes, love, we were the cutest couple… and who put the evil eyes upon us? What happened? 3 months after it…after a little fight i threw my ring and you said before it “everything will be gonna finish if you will do it”. I didn’t believe on you… I did it… and you did what you said… yes it was finished… I couldn’t breathe… you also… but we could not come back…just after 1 month you ran after me… I showed you coyness. You didn’t understand and thought I don’t want you back. Were you fool, love? May be you were not my first love, but you were my biggest love… You tried to fix everything after 1 month but I did the mistake of my life and said you I’m not single anymore. You were broken… I saw it in your eyes. And at that time I felt victory… because some envious people said to me you are trying to be acquainted with some girls… I hated to you… I could not believe you can forget me for this short period… but these people just lied to me… now I hate myself… how I could not believe to the person whom I loved? And just one month passed… I phoned you by crying and you just asked where I am… I just hugged you… you fed me that day… you stood near to me when I slept during the night… yes you were with me again. And again I felt myself safe… yes your arms were the safest place in the whole world. we started to date again…everything started one more time…but nothing else come back… im not talking about love… It was not gone, so it wasn’t come back… You understood im just a stupid, non-adequate, boaster girl… and I wanted you back you didn’t come back... I knew you loved me but your heart was broken… we again were together all day… but like two best friends… I even wasn’t angry to you… I understood you…i remember our last date in Paris. I was crying… and I saw just one single tear in your eye… I smiled… yes you love me… you still love me… then I left that city… you couldn’t stand without me even 2 months… you came… and the first person you wanted to see was me… we again went to our first date place… we were just two friends…
Love, I miss you… I miss you more than everything…  come back, my fortune… I cannot love anyone as much as you… I cannot feel anyone as much as you… I remember even your breath… 56-59 times during 1 minute do you know? I miss the heat of your hands… when you hold my hands…when you warmed my hands… I miss your arms… when I was in depression…when I was worried…when I was cried…when I was happy…when I was smiling…when I wanted to kiss you... I miss your kisses… innocent, soft, romantic, beautiful, long lasted… I miss your heart beating…when you hugged me… as my head was standing in the same level with your heart….i miss your smell… your tom ford perfume… it was so native to me…. I bought it to me…I scent it to my pillow everyday… for just feeling you next to me… love, do you know I learned to cook your all favorite food… you will not eat anymore salty food  for just not hurting me… I ll be perfect for you I promise…
Just come back, love! I cannot without you! I just cannot… there is no meaning of anything without you…
I love you… I love you a lot…




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