Monday, December 24, 2018

Total Disguise

...Since you could make me smile
Then you could stop the world for a while
Sometimes you make me cry
Then you give me wings and make me fly...

Hello!!! after 4 damn years, i think my inspiration wants to come! so in the very first place,  i will write the second part of my previous letter. lets start!😊 Hi, love. Another 4 years passed from my last letter to you... Did I forget you? No way. I remember you every day, every night, every moment.... What happened during all these years? Actually, 4 years are not a short period. Do you want to read my story about you but without you? I'll tell my memories, my thoughts, my feelings.
Ok, love... I attempted to forget you...Really... even it was the hardest thing in my life, but I tried. Could I? No... During 3 years, I wanted to believe that everything has gone and you are a huge 0 (zero) in my life. I persuaded myself to it...
Until... Until... Until to the date when i saw a guy who was playing with his dog... He acted completely like you... He was playing like you played with your Zeus. I was struck with that moment.
The only tear dropped from my eye... I missed you.. I really missed you... I again went to Paris... but this time I was alone. I wanted to go back and take all my memories from those places. From airport I got on underground and went to the Republique station. Do you remember which station is it? Yes! My travel started from our favorite place - Favela Chic... The place where we danced forgetting about everything in this life. Where you kissed me with the sweetest flavor. Where you hugged me tightly... I sat down there... and ordered Pina colado for me... Caipiroska for you... I drank for both of us. I became drunk for you and me... you know i remembered i first tried an alcochol from your lips... it was the sweetest sin...I cried... I cried a lot... I started dancing...as there is nobody next to me... i love this cuban bar... Ä°t is a real witness of our love and passion. 
Day 2. i woke up with terrible headache in the Hotel Regina Louvre.    i had a hangover. i again remembered you. i remebered your attention and love to me when i was ill. you even cooked food for me... i was your little, naughty girl. you cared about me more than anyone. today i decided to go to Latin Quarter. One of the most romantic places in Paris. however, i have different memories about that “quarter”. Everyday i was waiting for you from work here. as soon as your place was near to that location. we loved those narrow streets, the bitter smell of coffee and little cosy cafes. sometimes you
were terribly tired so we even didnt speak. we just hugged each other and stayed in that pose for hours.... i tried to remember every detail of our relationship. i came to our favorite “Le Danton” and booked our favorite table... alone... i again missed you with all my heart. i miss your smell. you know im sensible to smells. wherever i feel your smell i become calm... it gives me confidence... as you always gave it to me...

Day 3. Today i ll go the museums. Do you remember each Saturday was ours “museum” day. i started from Louvre... i looked at all canvas and again talked about them... as i did in the past. how we loved to discuss everything. you were my muse for learning new information and developing myself. then i went to National Gallery of Modern art, Museum of Monet and so on... i wish you were near to me... i wish you held my hands... and kissed them... as always you did...

Day 4. Today im going to the top of Eiffel tower. you know how that place is holy for me... This place is full of “firsts”. I remember how first time we went there ... You made a surprise for me. you took me to the top and for the first time you acknowledged your love... even if i felt it... i became freezed for few minutes. then i just screamed : I love you more, my man!!! I love you more! So you just took me in your arms and we rotated for 3 minutes. Ä°t caused dizziness and we laughed a lot. 
1 month passed from that day... we didnt hurry up... and in our 1 month of “love” we again came to this place. You just said to me to close my eyes. You kissed me for the first time... i was shocked aNd even raised my one leg)) you laughed a lot and said that im your little and pure girl... after few months you gave me a ring here and wanted me to marry you! i was the happiest person in the world. yes , you loved me and dreamt about future life of us... 
i remembered all these moments with you... and i left Paris... with tears in my eyes.

Can i forget you? No, of course no... I cannot... you were mine, i was yours... you were my sweetest part and my secret passion. I loved sin in your body... i loved your emotions .... i loved your eyes... i loved your hands... i loved your arms... i loved my height near of you... 20 cm difference between us... and i always felt like a little girl... i loved the way of your love ... i loved how you loved me... nobody can replace you... nobody can be you... may be it is not fortune and we will never be together again... but remember you will always be loved...the most loved... 

I wish you happiness, my weakest part... you deserve happiness... but im sure, you will never love anybody more than me... and nobody will be me...

if one day you will miss me, call me... find me... i ll always be  here for you❤️

ps. and i understood: i was in Paris only with you... because you are Paris. you are my city of love...



https://youtu.be/TtX0ajW_sW8

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